Tag Archives: Friends

Love actually

Love actually is everywhere. It is the message of a nice 2003 film.
I’m thinking a lot of this statement these days. It might seem simple and even a bit superficial, but sometimes life makes you think about it and shows you how complicated relationships can be.

I can actually feel love all around me! I have a wonderful family, both at home and here, I have a lovely boyfriend that is far away now but that writes me everyday and keeps good company to me when I am bored in my office, I have very important friends and lots of relations with which I have fun and that I really appreciate and miss in a way or another.

These days I have been thinking a lot about a friend that I haven’t seen in a long time. I saw this film with him, in a period in which we used to date, even if it was a quite complicated relationship, and at that time I didn’t really know what I wanted (I only understood it when I met my present boyfriend). I was worried about this… I mean, I didn’t understand why I was thinking about him so much. I was afraid that being far from my boyfriend I would start having stupid doubts about a relationship that has lasted almost 4 years.
Then I realised that it wasn’t that at all.

It is just that in this period I am making a balance of everything and I start missing people that have been  truly important to me and I want to rebuilt the bridges that used to connect us. In fact in a certain sense I still “love” him, but in a totally different way: he is someone who knows me deeply, with whom I can really laugh and on whom I can always count. But it has nothing to do with what I feel about my boyfriend!

Love is often described as a unique feeling, that you are allowed to feel only towards a person, but this is an advertisement oriented kind of image! Love is so complex and unpredictable… and it is just so beautiful to know that in a world that is often rude and hostile I can find love everywhere!

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One more time

I haven’t been blogging for a while… in fact it has been a complicated week, one in which many things kept my mind busy, realising that a wonderful experience will soon end and that I am not ready for that.

Last week I was given my last files to prepare before my internship is over. I am quite happy of finishing it because, even if at the beginning i found it very interesting and I was excited by this semi-professional experience, I now start seeing that it cannot give me anything more, at least not at the stage of an internship where I cannot be given more responsibility and I learn things myself, with few help from my supervisors. I now have to prepare my report and to give my supervisors a paper with a general evaluation of this experience, and I just don’t know where to start from, it is quite difficult to give a balanced account of something that I haven’t digested yet.

Then are the exams… today I had my last English lesson. It is just unbelievable, I feel as I had started yesterday! And next week at this time I will already have been through my speaking test. Few time is left to prepare the written part and I am starting to feel quite worried.

Furthermore is the weather… summer climatically started today in my views, it is just so hot!

I feel that I won’t even have the time to see this month pass and that I might as well leave tomorrow! Even if I have spent a lot of time here already, I feel that I am just not ready to leave! There are still lots of things to do, to see and to live! I will miss everybody around here so badly! Again… 
I don’t know how I could squeeze more juice from all this. I spend lots of time with my family, I try to do things with them, but I still feel that it isn’t enough, and that I am not getting to know them deeper.

Well… I don’t have much more to say, apart from the fact that one more time I would just like to stop the time, to erase the distances and to have all the beloved ones with me in one same place!

Post-Erasmus syndrome: there is more to it

Surfing on the net I found this article. It seemed to me particularly interesting to analyze this fact, as I actually spent 2 years studying abroad and since I came back home I have been feeling quite blue.

Articles on the Erasmus experience have mushroomed lately, as the European exchange programme is now 20 years old.

Actually my own experience was quite different from the one described as the typical Erasmus holiday year, as I went to France on a bi-national degree programme that is extremely demanding and requires lots of work. I cannot say that I didn’t experience crazy parties and Tiramisu, Tortilla and Quiche lorraine’ evenings, but it was not all.

The article also cited the French film l’Auberge Espagnole (Euro Pudding), but I think that it doesn’t appropriately highlight some kind of truth that is enclosed in this movie.
What really matters is not the Dolce Vita: when you find yourself with other youngsters from all over Europe, inserted in a completely new system and far away from home and your everyday life, you actually create a second family for yourself. You evolve together with your new friends, you experience new things, you study with them, you learn from different cultures and you end up discovering something about yourself. People at university are experiencing moments of great evolutions, and those years are critical to determine who they will really become. As the film concludes: “I’m not the guy in this picture anymore.. now I am part of him, part of her…”.

As I was saying before, going back home was a difficult moment for me. But not only because I didn’t feel special and life was boring. I have friends that are very important to me at home and that I find truly interesting. What is different is the fact that I didn’t share with them as much as I could share with other friends during my experience abroad. They are just not part of my famille-amis(as we call ourselves).
I am also sure that the degree of freedom that one can experience during the Erasmus period counts a lot in creating an overall atmosphere that is adequate to share experiences and grow up together, talk about the matters that really matter in life, etc… Creating this kind of environment is more difficult at home, especially in countries like Italy, where most students live with their parents (moving on our own is just too expensive): you can’t share everything with your friends in this context and as a consequence you get to know each other less. A significant example of this could be the reaction of my friends when I announced them that I had obtained the internship I wanted in the country where I was born: my famille-amisfriend started crying, hugged me and were really happy about that because they understood how important it was to me; my home-friends just told me:”ok, but it is not such a great deal, I would have been happier if you had told me you were pregnant”.

I do totally agree with the fact that telling the others what you experiences is almost impossible as nobody seems to understand you: either they are not interested, or they think that you are despising your domestic environment (family, friends, etc…).
I just cannot describe how I felt while I was showing some videos to my parents and I felt that they were just staring at me while I couldn’t help laughing… the worse thing is that it looked like they were worried about my mental health!

What else to say… I miss you guys!!! I think about you everyday!!! See you soon!!!